Stupid Jokes

True Love

2005-02-17T18:21:00.000+05:30

A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together.

After a while the husband said to his wife: Honey in all the years together, was there ever a time when you were unfaithful to me?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one time early in our marriage. Remember when you had lost your job and the bank was going to foreclose on the house. I made a trip to town, saw the banker and we got the loan extended until you returned to work.

The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved our home; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that one time. Was there ever another time?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Oh yes there was one other time. Remember when you had gotten sick and needed an operation or you would die, but we didn’t have any insurance. I made a trip to town, saw the doctor and you got the operation..

The husband thinks for a bit and says: Wow honey, you saved my life; I guess I can’t really hold it against you for being unfaithful that time either. Was there another time?

The wife thinks for a bit and then says: Well there was just one other time. Remember when you were running for club president and you only needed 58 more votes………..

Tit For Tat

2005-02-12T18:14:00.000+05:30

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should ave mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex," she said. The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

Date

2005-02-12T18:12:00.000+05:30

Brad had a blind date with Ashley for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself attracted to her more and more. After some really passionate embracing, he said, "Tell me, do you object to making love?"
"That's something I have never done before," Ashley replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Brad was amazed.
"No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"

Chicken Farm

2005-02-11T10:37:00.000+05:30

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."

Salary Package

2005-02-02T15:07:00.000+05:30

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

Sardar Son

2005-02-01T18:01:00.000+05:30

Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: really what is he studying?
Santa: he is not studying they r studying him.

Born Identity

2005-02-01T18:00:00.000+05:30

Man:sardarji where were u born?
sardarji: punjab.
man: which part.
Sardar: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".

Barish

2005-02-01T17:59:00.000+05:30

Sardar ke bagiche me bahut pedh the. Sardar ne naukar se bola pedho ko
pani dal.
Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
sardar : abe budhu chatri pakdke dal na".

Foreign Channel

2005-02-01T17:58:00.000+05:30

Ek dost ne sardar se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."

Sardar "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do.